A Sign of the times

Posted on by Roger Jarman

We’ve all heard of the importance of being present, living “in the moment”. I imagine it would be hard to find somebody to argue about the merits of being present in our daily lives. I imagine this is a concept which understood and accepted by a vast majority of people.

Yet put into practice, how many of us actually apply the knowledge we have? The old axiom that “knowledge is power” isn’t quite accurate. “USE of knowledge, is power”. Knowledge on it’s own is useless unless acted upon.

Think back on your day today for instance. Have you been present and engaged in each and every moment? In each interaction with people, fully tuned in to what the other person(s) are expressing verbally and non-verbally? While alone are you focused on your immediate surrounding and circumstance, or perhaps your thoughts have roamed to something, or somebody else?

Being present more often is a practice and aiming for perfection will ultimately lead to failure in most cases. We are complex beings with a lot of layers to our being. There isn’t a single thing we can do which will make us “good” or “bad” people. We are a sum of our parts, a compilation of moments and our choices, actions and outcomes form the painting of our lives.

As we practice being focused on each moment and making a choice, taking action based upon the knowledge we have to use, often we’ll make a choice with a positive outcome.

When we are worried or fearful of what the future may hold, of what someone will think about us, of what we could “lose” we tend to action our thoughts in fear, which isn’t based on anything in the present moment.

Being present and focused removes fear and worry by the nature of it. If you are present, you are not worried about the future. You are not worried about what others might think. You are not worried about success or failure. You are focused on what you perceive to be the world, at that moment. In short, removing the “noise” from our thought process brings us to intuitive thought.

When we act intuitively I can assure you this does not always mean comfortably.

It can be difficult and downright scary to go through the process and see the result of your choices come to fruition.

I’ve also seldom been wrong when I choose intuitively and act on the choice, no matter how difficult or daunting.

We are a sum of our thoughts, deeds and actions. We won’t always be winning, nor losing. We won’t always be right, or wrong. We don’t always be at the top of the mountain, nor buried at the bottom.

The more instances we can live presently in the moment, the more peace we will ultimately find within ourselves. It’s not about being 100% every day. It’s about the choice you make right this moment. That’s all that matters. Then repeat.

blindspot

Posted on by Roger Jarman

One thing I’ve noticed. We are the blind spot in our own mirror.

Al pretenses aside, I have tried to bury my own creative spirit for a long time now. For as long as I can remember I have been a numbers guy, analytical in my thinking and very much business oriented. I like this aspect of who I get to be. I have also forgotten that I am by nature a creative at heart, and this creativity reveals itself every step of the way.

While I have stifled this creativity in the name of “I need to go to bed”, or “I don’t have time for this/that”, I have also come to realize I am as much the problem as the solution. I have coached people through all kinds of things, and yet I find my myself at the need of my own advise.

Simplify.

I have been my own worst enemy for as long as I know. Not on purpose, not intentionally or rationally. At some level I have been telling myself I “have to go to bed at X time”, “I need a day off to “relax”” and other such things. I have done this as long as I can remember, yet at the same time I have created in my life many things which I love to do. Yet I still have retained the “I need to break away” mantra and the result is that I simply don’t break away. It doesn’t matter if it’s Wednesday or Saturday, Christmas or the middle of June.

I love my life, my wife, my daughters and the business I get to drive towards the coming years. I have a great life and am happy, yet I find myself wanting to “rest” from it. This “rest” is based upon an idea which isn’t even mine, but a societal structure which I’ve long resisted. I’ve never subscribed to the mantra of working for somebody during my prime years, save your money only to retire at the twilight of life and hope I still have my health an ability to enjoy a few years before passing on. Yet some part of me has held to this concept when it comes to my the hours of my day. I’m embarrassed to admit this, mainly because it’s so damned obviously a hole in my perception.

If I was coaching somebody else with this same issue I know the questions I would ask to highlight the situation clearly for the person. Yet because this time it is me, and the uncomfortable truth is that it’s easier to overlook my own faults than face and correct them.

We all have blind spots and while we may ignore them for a time, they will persist until we address them. We don’t consciously ignore these things, it’s almost always beneath the surface and only reveals itself once we’re ready to deal with it. There’s no use in wasting time or energy wishing something was different, that I’d adjusted sooner. For some reason I may not ever understand I wasn’t ready earlier, yet I am now. This is all that matters.

While we are our own blind-spots, we are also the only ones who can choose to see this. When you feel that things aren’t going as planned or there is a dis-connect you experience, the answer and re-connection is always within you. It’s not easy to find our own faults and coaches can help immensely in this area. Not to tell us things we don’t know, but to highlight those things we don’t see which are in front of us, and make all the difference.