Practice what you wish for.

When we want something in life, a higher paying job, a new car, a bigger house, a perfect spouse, kids who keep their rooms clean… often we wish for the “thing” to happen and expect a magic wand to make it so. How disappointing it is though, when these wishes go unfulfilled.

Often times it seems like we get the opposite of what we’re wishing for. We may desire a better relationship with our boss, co-worker, spouse, kids, you name it. Yet what we often experience is an argument or some kind of dust up with the very person we wish to be closer to.

Perhaps work is more stressful than usual and all you’ve been hoping for was a little less stress involved in your daily life. Or you’ve been trying to fit into that next size down in clothing but seem to be closer to a size up instead.

What we hope and wish for often times seems to go the opposite way a lot of the time. This doesn’t mean that God and the Universe are against you, perhaps just the opposite.

When we wish for something, what is it exactly that we expect to happen? Do we expect our relationship to simply BE better, a flip of the switch and just like that everything is good? Do we expect those extra inches at our waistline to simply not be there when we wake up in the morning?

We have become accustomed to our immediate satisfaction society, where nearly everything happens quickly. With some exceptional disruptions in our supply chain these last two years, we’ve become very used to the idea of immediate response service.

Not too many people think of what they expect to actually happen when they wish for something, there is an expectation for the “thing” to happen, with a very vague idea as to how it might manifest itself.

If you want more love in your life, then you may be given an opportunity to be loving to the person or people whom you want more love. How do you thing this would manifest exactly? Do you think it would come from an easy situation, like coming home to dinner cooked and on the table waiting for you?

Or would it be the opposite, you come home and it’s a mess, the kitchen is dirty and your “loved” one is sitting on the couch half asleep when you walk in?

Which of these scenarios opens the door for US, to be more loving?

I’ll give you a hint. It’s not the first one. That’s too easy. We don’t learn anything when it’s easy.

Perhaps what we get when we wish for something, is the opportunity to BE the very thing we wish for. After all, we reap what we sow.

When we are wishing for things like better health, more love, a promotion, a bigger house etc… what we’re really asking for is a change in our lifestyle, a change as we are dis-satisfied with the status quo. Therefore, by the very nature of our wish, our request, we are asking for an opportunity to learn, to create a attitude and/or habits.

Diets for instance only work while your “on” the diet, and then the weight comes flooding back on when we are “off” the diet. Why? Because we didn’t change our lifestyle to understand how to eat properly everyday, day in and day out. We only “learn” how to eat properly by practicing saying NO to things which don’t promote weight loss.

When you can say NO to the donuts Jerry brought into the office and not feel like your missing out, you’ve made a stride in changing your lifestyle. So when you wish for a leaner waist and a healthier body, you can rest assured Jerry is bringing donuts tomorrow! And you’ll have your opportunity to BE healthier.

We reap what we sow, and we don’t learn from easy. If you want healthy, be healthy. If you want more love, be loving to those around you, especially when you feel they deserve it the least. If you want more money, be generous with others. If you can’t afford it (prices aren’t going down these days after all!) take a closer look at what your spending on to see if you can spare something. If not money then, give your time to someone who’s lonely, perhaps some clothes to someone who needs them more, you get the point.

Patience is a virtue our culture is losing, yet it’s one of the key ingredients to finding peace in our hearts no matter the environment around us. Taking the time to practice those things we desire is a great way to practice patience as well.

The next time you wish for something, before you become frustrated by the situations which arise, give thanks to God for the opportunity you have to be that which you wish for. As you practice, you will then receive exactly what you wish for if you are patient for the result.

Good luck!

Practice, not perfection

Many years ago I was talking to a neighbor of mine and I was lamenting how tight my clothes had become. We had moved to Texas and after several months of eating at the myriad excellent restaurants around town, my waistline was showing the effects.

My neighbor suggested I simply get some “fat pants”, it’s what she does when things get too tight. I wasn’t familiar with the “fat pants” or where to get a pair, or how they worked. “What are fat pants?” I asked. “Bigger pants” was the deadpan response. I realized I was at a choice point in my life, choose to accept the enlarging waist and get some fat pant to accommodate my sloth. Or, I could choose to eat better and get my health back on track, saving me the painful concept of the bigger pants.

I chose to lose weight and work myself into my normal clothes again thankfully. This process I have since learned is applicable to many areas of life. The process of working towards a goal, an objective, an idea, a dream.

I have learned during my weight loss journey, I have learned again during my professional career, my marriage, fatherhood, entrepreneurship. I have experienced the same context in different formats. Like watching a movie where the family is in danger and the husband/father comes in and saves the day against all odds. This movie has been made a thousand times. The actors change, and script and scenery change, but it’s really just the same movie over again. These movies span all genres just like the important aspects of achieving a goal.

Progress on the road is infinitely more important than being perfect along the journey. I recall going on the Atkins diet (basically keto, before keto was cool!) and I dove in on a Monday morning. From beer and restaurants to zero carbs from one day to the next. Wasn’t really a great plan I admit, and the first two weeks were a nightmare, the third only slightly better. I did however steal peanut butter once a day during these first few weeks, and a beer at night a few times. These “indiscretions” are what gave me the willpower to keep going and not give up on the entire diet.

As I got better at eating a very minimal amount of carbs it became easier and I was able to adapt and adjust voluntarily when I felt ready to. I eventually gave up peanut butter and beer as I had progressed to a point. I had lost a lot of weight, and now was willing to sacrifice further to attain my goal.

There are times in life when we can be laser focused on a goal, AND we can deviate a bit to allow ourselves room to continue instead of crash. Countless people I’ve encountered give a 110%, (rise and grind bro!) only to burn out before getting what they were after. In my experience, getting three quarters of the way isn’t the same as crossing the finish line. Perhaps this is what the old “tortoise and the hare” fable is all about.

If you are going on a diet, starting a new business, beginning a fitness regime or changing fitness styles, (or one of so many other journeys) give yourself some leeway to have fun along the way. Sacrifices will need to be made, it will be difficult, and this is ok, this is part of the accomplishment. There’s no reason though to make it so difficult you can’t complete it. If you take a day off, eat that donut(s) at the office, miss a day of training don’t beat yourself up. It’s all good, simply continue where you left off and enjoy the progress you’ve made thus far.

Practice and persistence (consistency) will always win. Enjoy the journey and your much more likely to reach your destination.